Show Your Wife You Love Her by Ripping the Hair Out of Her Face

April 1, 2011

As I enter my sixth year of marriage, ┬áit’s becoming increasingly difficult (or, shall I say challenging) to find fresh, new ways to show my wife that I love her. The passage of time makes us complacent, our daily routines become automatic as we navigate through the usual monotony of life. Every now and then though, we need to identify routines in our lives, smash them, and apply new solutions. By taking a step back and looking for alternatives, we create the possibility of discovering new talents, new skills we can share with our loved-ones to help rekindling a little of that new-marriage romance.

Recently, while stumbling through the boring weekly routine of tweezering the whiskers off my wife’s chin, I became frustrated, bothered by the limitations of even the highest quality tweezers. Each of the three pairs we own struggle with some of the more formidable challenges sprouting from her face. Each hair always seems either too thin, like a fuzzy, gossamery covering, or, too short, barely peaking above her skin’s surface. Both are very difficult to grasp with tweezers, and prolong a process which shouldn’t take very long.

Do You Know How to Thread?

Equipped with the motivation to make my wife’s face as hair-free as possible, I committed myself to learning the ancient Persian art of threading. I spent chunks of time watching YouTube vids, practiced my thread knotting and handling techniques, and, practiced hair-line-plucking on my own hide. With a honed technique, I showed-off my new talents to my wife, who, was, struggling with her little mirror on a Sunday evening, tweezering her lip stubble one sad little hair at a time.

Bottom-line, I stepped-in, and, in a rather short period of time,  ripped all unwanted hair (even the tiniest peach fuzz) from her face leaving behind a patch of skin so silky smooth it needed powder to reduce the shine. She was quick to brag about my new skill to her friends, who, now have this newfound revere for me like I have some kind of elusive salon credential. I play it as low-key as I can, afraid of my services being called upon.

So, the lesson here, do you and your wife a favor. Touch her in a way she’s never been touched before, and, watch her writhing pain melt into a look of awe-inspired love. Yes, rip that hair out of her face, and, she will love you for it.

Here is a decent instructional video to assist your learning (Warning – this video is purely instructional. It contains no entertainment value):


Now that you are hair-free, go read my debut novel, Where’s Unimportant. Find it at